Celebrating KJOY!

Today I get to celebrate my dear friend & sister, Kristy JOY Osmun! I so wish I could give her a real hug on her birthday & tell her in person how important she is to me, which I would hope she knows by now :), but I am glad she gets some much needed time in NJ with her family. For those who know Kristy, we all know she is a very special young woman. I have had the blessing of knowing Kristy for over 5 years & she is now one of my closest friends & sisters. She is an amazing girl--so talented, funny, sweet, giving, BEAUTIFUL, wise, sensitive & tender-hearted, & such an encouragement. I can't tell you how many times the encouragement I need has come in perfect timing from this girl! She loves the Lord with all of her heart-she loves His Word-she leans on Him in good times & bad. She wants everyone around her to know the love & peace of Christ--He radiates from her. She is a wonderful leader to her senior girls, well, all the students actually & our young 20-somethings gain admiration for her as well. Ministry is so much fun with her because she just wants to be used & make an eternal impact...and she is! My life became so much richer when God brought Kristy into it--she has been a constant, faithful, selfless friend to me. She always asks how I am really doing & wants to know what the Lord is up to in my life. I can be "me" with Kristy & she knows when I am putting up a front & she graciously calls me on it because of her heart--and I need that! The Lord definitely had something special in mind when He caused our lives to cross--and I could not be more thankful for her! Kristy--have a wonderful birthday--I know my life is so much more blessed because you are in it! Love you!

Celebrating 6-5

We had the blessing of celebrating my mom today! I felt compelled to celebrate too by blogging about it because my mom is just that awesome. She is such a wonderful lady--I really could not have asked for a better mom...from when I can remember as she raised me or to this day as she is my friend...she is such a treasure to me. She is strong in adversity, always has a positive attitude, would do anything for anyone, so giving & generous, funny, understanding, patient, sweet, hard-working, & so loving. My mom loves the Lord & trusts Him with her life--His joy exudes from her as it is easy to tell she walks with Him. I love my mom & have so much respect for her. It is a gift for me to celebrate another year with her!

10 Years Later...100 Lessons Learned

It has been 10 years since I have returned from my 2-month mission trip to Kenya & while I can’t believe it’s been that long ago, time goes by so fast, but the memories & mental pictures are still fresh in my mind. At times, I feel as if that wasn’t even me that did all the things while in Kenya! Many of you reading this didn’t even know me then—which is part of the reason why I think of myself from such a distance…like, “Wow God, You did all that 10 years ago…& look where You have brought me today, 10 years later!” I feel like a different person.

When I went to Kenya, I was basically a new believer…very young in my faith. I was 20, going to be a junior at the U of M, engaged to an awesome guy, family was great…& I was now serving a very living & active God that was taking me across the world to Africa. It was, to say the least, a crazy experience! I will never forget it. I went with a great team & made life-long friends…but to be quite honest, the mission experience was hard, frustrating, & not at all what I expected. In fact, toward the end of the trip & when I got home I was pretty certain missions was NOT for me. I was rather bitter & confused to why God would take me to Kenya for 2 months & have a not-so-good experience. Mind you, there were a few times where it was enjoyable & I felt what I was doing was fulfilling. It took a few years for me to process why God had me there & why I went through what I did.

I recently got an email from the leaders from my Kenya trip…they are still leading that trip to this day (13 times now), taking college students to Kenya…they are amazing people. But in that email, it confirmed that God had a plan for my challenges in Kenya 10 years ago: to be a testimony to the future students that would go on this trip. This is what they wrote:

“It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years since you came on the GP, Brandi! I have such vivid memories of the stories you and Grace told after getting back from your ministry assignment in Meru. Brian still uses your experience to teach students about perseverance, about how to maturely deal with fear and disappointment, and about God's control over all things---how he perfectly orchestrates the lessons He wants for us (even if the lessons come much later on.) Brian always speaks highly of you. I hope that our Kenya updates keep the memories fresh for you and that the lessons God taught you continue. That is our prayer---that much fruit will be born from those who have come with us.”

There has been much fruit from that trip. I am glad my hard experience can be used as a teaching & training point for other young college students that may face the same challenges I did. God has obviously softened my heart toward missions, to say the least! I have since been to Uganda, Guatemala, & Brazil on mission excursions, as well as several local destinations. Jim & I are now in charge of short-term missions at our church & even just put the dates together for taking a team to Brazil in 2011! Oh the crazy things our God does! And I am so glad His plan is SO much bigger & better than mine!

When I think back to Kenya, I no longer dwell on the difficulty. I dwell on how big God is. The mental images are sharp in my mind. My team. The Pastor & family I served for 3 weeks. God’s protection. Walking through the oldest & worst slum in all of Africa, Mathare Valley—the poverty, the faces, the spark of hope from a church in the middle of it. Feeding street teens. Staying on a college campus. Grace, my Kenyan teammate who is beautiful, loves Jesus, & who I had the blessing of spending most of my time with. Worship.

So when it comes down to it…I am a different person because of Kenya. I am glad God redeemed my outlook on missions, because now my life is ever changed because of them! Even if some of the fruit comes 10 years later…bring it on!

Senior Night

We recently had Senior Night at The Link...where our graduating seniors have a chance to encourage the rest of the youth group in what they've learned, something to spur them on, words of wisdom, Scripture, etc. They represented the faithful as they sat on stage & shared...it was a very bittersweet night for me to say the least. Adam & I, as the senior small group leaders, had a chance to challenge/encourage our students as well...here is what I told them:

*Hebrews 12:1-2 "...let us also lay aside every weight, & sin which clings so closely & let us run with endurance the race set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder & perfecter of our faith..." I wanted them to understand that this is a long-distance race, not a sprint. And that evil always lies close at hand...they need to actively "throw aside" those weights & sins that are so easy to get attached to...& have the Lord insist on the their best. That God would not let up on them until they have gone the distance...being molded & used by Him along the way.

*2 things I proposed to them as they move on in their future:

-Be a blessing. Live out your love (Live Love)...for God first, then others. Let love compel all that you do. Life is not about you...so go, be a blessing.

-Decide what you want most in life. Hopefully, that would be to please the Lord above all else...to fulfill His purpose for you. Sometimes we get mixed up in our priorities of what we really want in life...job, status, relationships, friendships, money, success, etc....while some of those things aren't all bad...they can so quickly & easily disappoint. They can fail. But God will NEVER disappoint, He will NEVER fail. So all you are needs to go all to Him first & pleasing Him first be THE priority.

I talked about funny & more serious things I have gone through with the 8 that were there: holding their hand through surgeries, boy/girl problems, family stuff, bad hair-dye jobs, getting in trouble for taking them "out of town" & not telling their parents...lots of laughter & tears but moslty awesome memories. And my girls...wow. Their faithfulness, their love of the Lord & for people, they are so fun, they let me be me, encourage & challenge me to be a better me, teach me, they support me, spur me on. They are incredible. They are God's gift & blessing to me! They are what makes me passionate about doing what God has called me to do.

What a Waste

I recently had the blessing of teaching our girls on a Wednesday night at The Link, as all the guys went to a men's worship night. Taking advantage of who my crowd was, I taught about 5 different women & how they worshipped God. Our students have a great understanding that worship is not just in musical praise (although that is an element of worship), but it is a lifestyle, an attitude, a heart matter. I talked about Miriam, Mary & Martha, Lydia, & the Sinful Woman. It was fun to learn more about these women & how they worshipped...through song/music, serving, sitting at the feet of Jesus, using a spiritual gift...but the one that I spent most of my time on was the Sinful Woman. The way she worshipped Jesus impacted me greatly & has left me thinking about her style ever since. Her story, or the version I used, is in Luke 7:36-50. It's the story of the woman with the alabastar jar of expensive perfume/ointment, which was broken, and it's contents poured upon the Savior by this woman, in preparation for His burial, & she also washed Jesus' feet with her own tears & hair. The Pharisee in this story was angered at what he considered to be a great waste of such wealth.

She was so sinful. She was known for it. But she had a heart full of deep compassion & love towards the Savior...who she KNEW could heal her & love her as she was. This woman came to Jesus offering ALL that she had...both figuratively & literally. She poured out her tears to wash his feet, she emptied herself in brokeness & humility to do this act of service. She poured out ALL of her perfume or ointment on Jesus...something that represented her future & carried great worldly wealth. She spent all of herself on Jesus. Wasted.

The Pharisee was having none of it. What a waste.

He revealed to me that oftentimes, even as christians, we ourselves treat some of God's most loving servants, in like manner. Some may come into our lives that are "head over heels" (extremely) in love with Jesus, pouring out their very best upon the Savior ... giving their entire all to Him ... their entire heart ... their entire life. How often do we respond to such commitment in others, with that same attitude of heart, which the Pharisee showed toward this woman? The Lord asked me about my own heart. He challenged me to consider my commitment towards Him. Am I giving Jesus my all? Am I pouring out my best upon Him ... all that I have ... all that I am? I was challenged to consider if this (a heart after the things of this world) is my hearts condition, or do I pour the very best of myself out upon my Savior? Am I viewing the King of kings as the greatest value of my heart and life? Are my thoughts consistently on what, in my life, I can do to pour out of myself, all that I have & all that I am, that I might bless my Savior, as did this woman? Does He matter more to me than anything else? What this woman did in honor of the Savior mattered so much to Him, that He proclaimed that wherever the gospel would be preached, her story would be told in memory of her...& it is! I just read it!

She spent everything she had in order to worship God. Serving others is SO important...but in this case, she was serving HIM alone. Serving others is one of my priorities, but serving Him alone should be higher. This woman wasn't interested in holding anything back...she layed it all out...her future, hopes, pride, dreams. She was so transparent in her worship. How often am I that transparent with my God? How long has it been since I have been that broken over my sin & shortcomings? Am I one of those worshippers the Father is seeking...the kind that worship Him in spirit & in truth (John 4:23)?

I want my life to reflect this kind of love. I want to waste my life in ways that the world can never understand. I want to spend every moment pouring out my love for Jesus. Whatever it is…dancing, singing, writing, or simply laying on the ground…I will do it gladly. He poured out His life for me, the least I can do is pour out all of myself & waste my life in love. Really, eternally…this is not a waste…in fact, this is the BEST use of my life.

Glorious waste.

I Will Rest on This...

There is nothing more comforting & assuring than to look at my life...in it's craziness, confusion, sorrow, joy, triumphs, trials, frustrations...& then turn to the promises of God...His Truth, His Character, His calling in my life, His certainties. He is unchanging & faithful. When I line the two up...suddenly the things I don't know or understand seem so much smaller compared to how huge God is, how GOOD He is.

Satan is relentless lately...but I refuse him.

Here are some promises & realities in Christ I choose to rely on & how I choose to let these certainties impact me:

YOU are Savior--YOU put me back together.

YOU are Creator--shape my character.

YOU are strong--bear my burden.

YOU are Life--Your blood makes my heart beat.

YOU are Protector--foster me.

YOU are power---YOU compell me.

YOU are Truth--confuse my doubts.

You are the Way--inspire my steps.

YOU are everything--may I decrease.

YOU are the Shepherd--guide me.

YOU are the Potter--shape & mold me, no matter how much it hurts.

YOU are the Redeemer--live through me.

YOU are perfect--change me.

YOU are jealous--convict me.

YOU paid my ransom--collect me.

YOU are the Living Water--fill me.

YOU are Love--consume me.

YOU are the Shadow--allow me to rest in You.

YOU are mighty--shield me.

YOU are Defender--fight for me.

YOU are hope--may I trust in Your goodness.

YOU fill me--I am empty.

YOU laid down Your life--I am free.

YOU are on the throne--I am not.

God is so so good...in the midst of heartache or victory. His provision & how He chooses to bless me amazes me. The picture below...God gave me this beautiful sunrise on this heavy-hearted morning & He also reminded me that it's OK & the better way when I recognize my weakness & understand my need for Him with the verse...through an incredible vessell God chose to wake up just for me this morning...because He knows EXACTLY what I need & is not slow to provide for me.

Happy 1st Anniversary to Us!

I am a pretty sentimental person...ok very...so dates are a big deal to me, even seemingly more insignificant ones. But I had the blessing of celebrating a very important date last Wednesday night at The Link. It was my Small Group 1 Year Anniversary! I have now had the privelege of formally being the now Senior Girls small group leader for a year! It has flown by! While I have been a part of their lives for going on 5 years now, this last year has meant more to me than they know. We have done so much together...grown, laughed, cried, spent lots of time together, prayed, & laughed some more! They have each had a significant impact on my life & they have encouraged me. They allow me to be me...they have seen me in joy & in trial...they walk right through it all with me! They are each so gifted & beautiful...and they LOVE the Lord! They have taught me so much about Him...perhaps the Lord had me be their leader more for my benefit than theirs...pretty sure! God shows me so much through them & refines me because He has allowed me to be their leader. The cool thing is that for the most part, they are stickin' around here when they graduate! (Thank You Lord!) Not sure what I would do if they all left! Yes, I am their leader, but they are my sisters & friends too. This last year has been quite the year for me personally, but they have been their cheering me on & I am eternally grateful & changed because of them. I only hope to walk in such a way to lead them closer to Christ & that my footsteps would not be mine, but the Lord's, to draw them closer to Him. The Lord is the thrill of my life, no questions asked. But these girls come closely after that...they are a passion & joy to me. An example that Christ is alive & thriving in hearts & minds. A reminder of God's amazing goodness. Thanks for such an awesome year girls! On to the next!

YOU Must Be Up to Somethin' Good

I have the privelege of teaching our high school girls Sunday School class each week (and middle school the last couple weeks too) & I know each week as I plan the lesson & teach that God had planned for me to learn from it too. In fact, I perhaps learn more than my girls do! The last couple weeks we have been in Daniel...talked about staying true to your convictions, even in the midst of persecution & questioning...even in a land that is not your home (they were in captivity), Daniel & the Lion's Den, then Shadrach, Meshach, & Abednego in the Fiery Furnace...then this morning we talked about Daniel's prayer in chapter 9. We talked about prayer & a creative way to pray (A.C.T.S. prayer) & why each aspect is important, that we need to pray "we" prayers, not "me" prayers...it was an awesome lesson on prayer. While I was teaching however, I thought back to the previous weeks. And in this chapter, Daniel & his friends are about to have something big, good happen...to go back home! I couldn't help but think...while God showed up huge...these boys went through much persecution, discouragement, impending death, frustration...you name it. Then Daniel prayed...because God was about to do something big.
So I told my girls my personal testimony of the fact that when I go through these times of discouragement & frustration...and I am in tune with God & in His will...it is because God must be up to something good. It's just a spiritual process the Lord takes me through now & then. Now is one of those times. Not that there are these catastrophic things going on in my life, but it's a spiritual battle & satan knows right where to target me...and he plays dirty. Whether it's in my own thought process, lies & negative thoughts about myself, busy-ness, questioning important relationships in my life, gossip, people close to me going through a hard time...I know God is more powerful than any of those circumstances & He HAS overcome them. But history shows that these things also mean that MY GOD is up to somethin' good! I don't know if this will be a personal, spiritual victory or if it will be more corporate...I have some ideas of areas God is going to prove to, of course, be huge & amazing...but not certian yet. I am more than willing to persevere & wait to see. In the meantime, I will take on Daniel's example & PRAY. And then pray harder. I will seek His face. And I will look to & anticipate the answers!

"For we do not present our pleas before You because of our righteousness, but because of Your great mercy. O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention & act. Delay not, for Your own sake, O my God." Daniel 9:18-19