It is Possible

For many, it's a death sentence.  For others, it's a bump in the road.  In some lives, it brings devastation.  In others, it creates newness.  It is earth-shattering.  It is also considered un-surprising.  At the end of the day, the outcome will bring either sorrow or joy, maybe even sometimes a funny, bittersweet combination of both.  In any of these cases though, no matter how you look at it, this 6-letter word is life altering, life changing.

C-A-N-C-E-R

What an ugly word.  The havoc it brings is crazy.  But it is possible that life on the other side of this word can bring something amazing, beautiful.  I know that full well.

8 years ago today, I found out it is possible for Christ to overcome cancer.

(I know this is not the case for many, but this is our personal testimony.)

8 years ago today at a hospital in Salem Oregon, my brave & courageous Jim underwent an excruciating surgery to remove this ugliness from his body.

And he came through it & after the terrible pain subsided, when all was said & done (including coming out debt-free by God's provision)...8 years later, he is cancer-free & healthy.  To say 'Praise God!' is a huge understatement, but that's what I have & I am beyond thankful.

While this part of our journey has severely altered some plans we hoped for & dreamed of all our lives, it has brought so many other opportunities & possibilities to our lives.  

So we pressed on in life together, thankful that God had another plan for Jim than to take his life with cancer, as it easily could have.

Through college classes, ministry, sicknesses, death, empty bank accounts, dreams, family visits, inside jokes, broken vehicles, moving, friends...we kept taking one step at a time...no matter how wobbly they were, we kept pressing on & we learned what IS POSSIBLE in our lives.

It is possible to have life & joy after cancer.

It is possible to have a deep, epic love with the person you married, no matter what you face, you do it together.

It is possible to know that God is deeply in love with you & cares for you infinitely, even if 

He brings pain.

It is possible to enjoy each season of life, knowing that not each of them will last forever.

It is still possible for dreams to come true, even if they might look different than you first thought.

It is possible that we will face other hard things that go beyond explanation or reason.

It is possible to mourn & move on.

It is possible to worship after a storm like that, as I had the blessing of watching 

Jim do just that.

It is possible to believe His promises for our lives.

Looking back, there are so many possibilities that became reality for us.

And I am so glad I went through that trial with Jim 8 years ago--that it was a possibility for us to hold each other up & keep walking beside each other.

All of these things are made possible through Christ.  (Matthew 19:26)

His grace is enough.  His mercy endures forever.  He IS good & does good.

What has He made possible for you?

(I took this photo around this time 8 years ago & has remained one of my favorite pictures.)

Running Ramblings

 So I have really gotten back into running this year--I have basically been a life-long runner, with some breaks here & there, but am now fully back into running mode.  I love it.  It's my time to think, to worship, to pray, to be me, to stay healthy, to challenge myself, to ponder...& right now, most of the time I get to do it with my dog, Hunter, on my left side.  He's a good pacer :)  As we were on one of our morning runs last week, I just couldn't help but flick a couple quick pictures (always the photographer) as they just captured some of the things in my head & heart so perfectly.  In the picture to the left, the sun was so bright & it contrasted so drastically to the dark clouds coming our way.  Minutes later, we turned the corner & faced the sun, the picture below, but there was no stark contrast of the dark clouds in front of us, just pure, glorious sunshine & some blue sky.  I was reminded of Psalm 30:5...'though sorrow may last for now, His joy will come again...' (my version on that morning).  I was reminded of times when I would look up or around me & see nothing but some big, dark, ugly clouds.

But eventually, maybe not minutes like I'd hope, I would 'turn the corner' & be given a glorious face-full of sunshine & some blue sky coming through.  I am thankful for both times--I don't mean to sound super spiritual, but I truly am.  The Lord allows those times in my life when the dark clouds are surrounding me...I have been there in those times, but so has He...right there with me.  And He allows the times when I am fully facing some good weather, and He is there with me.  Like in Psalm 139--no matter where I go, He is there.  He is just as good in the stark contrast of dark clouds as He is when giving me a face full of sun.  He is really, really good.  Here is the other thing I was thinking about on this particular run:  as far as running form goes...it is good to lift your chin a little bit so that you are looking at the horizon, not just at the ground the whole time.  For one, it straightens out your body & allows you to run for efficiently & is better for your body, better alignment.  And for another, I would completely miss out on these awesome views if I didn't lift my vision, even just this slightest bit.  I would completely miss them if I was focused totally on the ground below me.  It's good to 'lift my chin' to what God is doing around me & not miss out on it just because I am so focused on what I am doing, or looking down because I am worried or doubtful or hurting or tired...no matter if it's a 'darker' or 'lighter' time...He is working & I don't want to miss out on it.  He is worth my sight to the horizon, to what He is doing--because His Word is true...joy will come.  He most certainly is not worried about those big, ugly, dark colds...neither should I be. 

"Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you."

(Psalm 139:12)

One of the Greatest Questions I've Ever Been Asked

I know, I know...you see the picture of 'the ring' posted & probably think, 'yeah, this is what newly engaged couples do...she has been married for a while...?'  

Yes.

Today marks 12 years ago that I got asked one of the greatest questions I've ever been asked.  And each year, I grow more thankful at the answer I gave to that question.  May 2, 2000 was a day to remember--seems like a long time ago, yet the 12 years have flown by!  Some memories seem pretty vague & foggy, but I distinctly remember sitting on a mountain in the Pattee Creek Canyon in Missoula as I had the blessing of being asked, what I believe to be, one of the most important questions in my life--

"Will you marry me?"

While our life together has had its ups & downs, joys & sorrows, good & not-so-good times...altogether wonderful though & still just really like this man (& obviously LOVE)...I am SO abundantly glad a young man named Jim wanted to ask ME to spend all those times by his side.

And of course what followed was one of the best answers I have ever given in my life.

Yes.

A Reminder to Believe God

As I was preparing to lead my Life Group tonight, a section of Scripture we are studying in James & it's meaning has really been rolling around in my head & heart all week, for weeks actually. It is in James 5:14-16,

"Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore,confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

Healing. Victory. Faith. Trust.

Is healing possible? Will I ever get over ______? What if God doesn't answer my prayer in such & such a way? What if? When? How? How long? Why? It could go on & on...

Today, I was reminded of a study I led a while back, Believing God (Beth Moore). That was such a rich study, for many reasons, for many young women I believe. I clearly remember at the end of that 12 week study telling my group that, for perhaps no other reason, that the Lord had that study planned at that time just for me...a crossroads in my life. Quite honestly, it was truths in that Bible study, encouragement from God's Word, His character, & my sisters in Christ that kept me on the path of believing God, instead of completely giving up, shutting down, curling up in a ball, crawling into a hole, ceasing. So, I just thought I would encourage you with just a small portion from that study:

Faith that remains unchallenged, ordinarily remains unchanged, stifled, stagnant.

He is bigger that we will ever stretch our faith to conceive...every time you grasp a new concept about God, try thinking, "God is this...AND MORE..."

Prayers answered with a "no" could grant a greater "YES."

Will we not ask because we are afraid of being offended by God? Embarrassed? Disappointed? Hurt? Surprised? Or will we ask, know He IS able but trusting that He is good if He doesn't act? Blessed are those that aren't offended by/with Jesus.

Should we have faith to heal? Yes! But also & more, faith to trust.

God see's fretting faith as faithless fretting--we will never fret our way to victory or healing.

When you have no idea what to believe Him for in a given situation, just believe Him to be huge.

As I see it, sometimes we are at a crossroads...one side will take us to defeat, the other to victory. Like I said before, God used this study in a specific, dark season of my life for a reason...I could have easily been at the crossroads & chosen defeat.

Our Father delights in ambitious, fierce praying--so hit your knees & ask other to do it on your behalf. And believe God.

God requires our 100% & when He receives it, He returns it a hundred fold. He doesn't give back 50%. He requires so much of us so we can join Him in experiencing unmatched triumph & joy.

"The more we applaud God, the more inclined He is to come out for an encore."

So, I can't wait to see what God does!

I believe:

God is who He says He is.

God can do what He says He can do.

I am who God says I am.

I can do all things through Christ.

God's Word is alive & active in me.

I'm believing God.

(Who did it with the actions?!)

Joy & 32 is a Good Combo

I had the blessing of my birthday being on a Sunday this year & it was such a wonderful morning of worship! Baptisms, praising Him through song, listening to His Word, fellowship...such sweetness to it! As I saw what my Pastor was preaching about this week, a smile couldn't help but creep across my face. Did he know & plan this?! (haha, no, but the Lord so KNOWS me!) Several others even commented on it, "Brandi, he preached "your thing!"

JOY. REJOICE. I will say it again, REJOICE. CHOOSE JOY.

For those that know me well...this is one of my life mantra's, something I believe in & live by. Something that I choose to do. I am not always wonderful at it & have to remind myself often of this choice that I have. But I love that I get that choice. And I love that when I choose to make that choice, it brings me closer to Jesus, closer to how I need look. When I choose joy, it allows me to make much of Him & what Christ did for me on the cross, the life I now live because of this undeserved act. This 32 years of life I got to celebrate today. And having it marked by such an awesome sermon all about joy-one of my favorite things-was such a blessing to me.

I was incredibly gifted with wonderful friends who went out of their way to think of me today, remember me, encourage me, love on me, spend time with me, say & do thoughtful things...my life is richer because of them! Thank you dear friends!

And of course, my amazing husband...he blesses me so much, more than I deserve. He planned such a nice day & evening for me-got to hang out with him for all of it & that's just the way I like it. I'm ready to start this year of my life with joy as my focus. No matter what may come my way, good or bad, both can be faced with joy...because that depends on Jesus.

Year in Review:2011 through the Lense

For those of you who KNOW me, you KNOW I LOVE taking pictures--of anything. Anyone.

So on this New Year's Eve, as I ponder all that happened in 2011, I decided to give a small glimpse of 2011 through my lense.

From the top left corner:

-Did some hiking & camping, include the first OverFlo Redneck Camping Trip

-Dove in deep with our College & 20-Somethings Ministry, OverFlo, after transitioning out of Student Ministries in the summer...lots of great Bible study, worship, fellowship, retreats, & just having fun together...a wonderful group to have fun with! (the first one is a regular Tuesday night meeting, then one from our Fall Retreat)

-I ran more in 2011 than I had since high school...so great getting back into it. Ran 4 5K's in 2011 & look forward to challenging myself more in 2012 in this area.

-I continued to take many pictures in 2o11 & the Lord allowed some 'new' areas for me to expand my creativity, as well as a lot of family pictures of some wonderful families near & dear to me.

-Did an impromptu trip to SD to see Mt. Rushmore for the first time & surprise one of "my girls" as she was graduating from college in SD.

-Trip in April to Albuquerque, NM to celebrate our niece's (Vivian) 1st Birthday.

-Another ministry area I grew in & loved was our Worship Ministries, singing on the team nearly every Sunday. (standing with some awesome fellow worship team gals)

-The first 2 weeks of June took us to Brazil with our team from Emmanuel on a mission trip--amazing time!

-A week after returning from Brazil, I had the blessing of serving at SummerX, our Student (7-12 Grade) Summer Camp. This was my 'last' full SummerX as we transitioned out of active Student Ministry...always a fun week!

-Spent several days away in the mountains with the rest of Emmanuel's Pastors & Staff at our annual retreat...such a blessing to be a part of this team!

-2011 wrapped up with some great Taber time at Christmas, as Jim's brother & his wife (Josh & Amber) came up this year with our niece (Vivian)...my mom was also with us to celebrate too.

There is SO MUCH MORE that happened this year that fill in the spaces, like:

Picture above the collage: Jim & I celebrating our 10th Anniversary...I am truly blessed by this man & LOVE spending my life with him & spending my love on him. Not only do I love being a Pastor's Wife, I love being HIS wife. We took a full week off & spent it at a beautiful cabin on Coeurd 'alene Lake. Simply wonderful!

I went into 2011 with a new 'job' at Emmanuel...the 'media' girl. I have grown to really like this part of my job & feel like I learn more on a daily basis & kinda feel like a computer nerd! I love working at Emmanuel full time & believe God has wonderful things in store for us 2012. God has given us 'family' & friends that make our life so much richer. Having both Mom & Dad Taber & my mom close-by is a blessing I don't want to take for granted.

Continued to lead several small group Bible studies through out the year...this year the Lord opened some cool doors with the volleyball players at MSU-Billings & Rocky Mountain College, as well as leading a few studies with the OverFlo girls, & finished off 2011 with a beautiful group of 'Young Wives.' Also got to be a part of a small group of 'Spiritual Coaches' as we learned more on how to encourage the women we counsel & encourage every day.

Our dogs, Kaycee & Hunter, continue to be a source of fun & entertainment for us. Hunter is in his prime for being an all-star bird retriever. Of course Esther the cat is still with us too :)

I could go on & on, but those are the high-lights. There were many wonderful times in 2011, some not-so-great...all in all, I am glad to see 2011 go & look forward to 2012 & all that God has.

I conclude with this quote from Amy Carmichael:

"God bless you & utterly satisfy your heart...with Himself."

1 Corinthians 13-a Christmas Version

I shared this at our Ladies Christmas Party & Ornament Exchange:

If I decorate my house perfectly, with strands of twinkling lights & shiny ornaments, but do not show love, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, bake dozens of Christmas cookies, prepare gourmet meals & arrange a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love, I'm just another cook.

If I work at MRM, carol at the nursing home, give a lot to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the tree with intricate ornaments, attend a myriad of Christmas programs & holiday parties, & sing in the church choir, but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love pauses to encourage the friend. Love is kind.

Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated everything, or the kinds of presents they get their family.

Love doesn't yell at the kids or dogs to get out of the way, or be critical of those around them, but is thankful they are there to be "in the way."

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games & gadgets will break, jewelry will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.